


Remembrance

by DownToTheSea



Category: Babylon 5
Genre: Angst, F/F, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-18
Updated: 2020-02-18
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:22:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22782466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DownToTheSea/pseuds/DownToTheSea
Summary: Ivanova reflects on the woman she lost.
Relationships: Susan Ivanova/Talia Winters
Comments: 12
Kudos: 24
Collections: Chocolate Box - Round 5





	Remembrance

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SammyFlower](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SammyFlower/gifts).



In a way, Ivanova almost envied John. He’d lost the woman he’d loved, and while she would never, could never, wish that pain on anyone… The way he still talked about Anna, that was what got to her.

“I wish Anna could have seen this,” he’d say as they watched a far-off star exploding through the viewport in C&C.

“Anna would have laughed so hard,” he’d choke through his own laughter as he recounted some prank or other that had been played in the mess hall that morning.

Before, Ivanova would sympathize. Offer him an awkward pat on the arm. Get him to talk more about his wife, maybe, if he felt like it. But now, after Talia, the pain was too close and too real for her to do anything but change the subject as quickly as she could.

Ivanova didn’t really do the emotional conversation thing. She didn’t want a shoulder to cry on; she was cried out already. All she wanted was to  _ share  _ Talia with someone. To convince herself that it wasn’t all in her head, it wasn’t all some manipulation by Control. That what she and Talia had felt for each other was real.

_ Talia would have thought those were beautiful,  _ she thought as she spotted a bouquet of yellow roses for sale in the Zócalo.

_ Talia would have dragged me out there with her,  _ as she noticed John and Delenn walking together in a newly blooming section of the gardens.

_ I think I loved her. _

But no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t force the words out of her throat. Instead she collected all the little reminders of Talia, glittering and painful as shards of ice, and hid them away in a corner of her mind. Someday, maybe, she could give voice to them.


End file.
